Watch It, Rae! Tv reviews for the critically minded.

This week opens with a shot of the Jolly Roger. Hook is mooning over a tattered drawing of his former lover, Milah, who also happens to be the former wife of Rumpelstiltskin, as well as formerly among the living, thanks to Rumple’s removal of her heart. Smee approaches the captain and questions him on his intentions for extra soggy Bae, just fished out of the drink. Hook reminds Smee that the boy could be an excellent bargaining chip for survival with a mysterious “him”. Setting up next season’s big bad so soon? Hook goes below and channels the spirit of

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We open to find young Bae, six months after he went through the portal that fateful night Rumple broke their deal. Bae is in his finest Newsies attire, and it seems the life of a ragamuffin street urchin of London has not agreed with him. Starving, he creeps into a mansion and descends on some freshly baked loaves of bread. Strains of “Food, Glorious Food” can be heard in the distance. Bae is soon interrupted from his feast, not by Javert, but a very disgruntled St. Bernard. Luckily the dog’s owner appears and kindly offers to share the loaves with

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We open as a bag is removed from our favorite klutzy pirate’s head. Hook stirs, tied up one again, while being glowered over by Tamara and Greg in the clock tower of Storybrooke’s library. I believe he is solely responsible for the income of the entire rope-making industry in Storybrooke at this point. The duo threaten Hook, trying to bully him into helping find Regina, but let’s be honest, Menacing!Greg and Plotting!Tamara are about as threatening as Boris and Natasha. Hook has no motivation to help them anyway, as he believes he has succeeded in killing his crocodile. Cue Tamara

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We open this week on Henry’s birthday party in the pawn shop. Grandpa Rumple offers Henry any one thing in his shop as a present. Considering we’ve seen merchandise like candles of death, this may not be the best idea. Henry picks a magic wand. Rumple, filling the role of Ollivander, shows him how it’s done. He gives the wand a wave and turns Henry into a porcelain statute. Rumple promptly proclaims that no prophecy is going to get the best of him and shatters Garden Gnome Henry. Rumple then sits up in bed. It was all just a nightmare.

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I had to double check what channel I was watching as this week’s episode started. The camera slowly pans over a room that looks like a set from The Hangover 4: Happily Ever After. There are empty liquor bottles, clothes, general debris, and semi-clothed ladies strewn about a tropical looking flat. We see August W. Booth wake with a start. The year is 2011 and the reason why he woke so suddenly becomes clear as he glances down at his leg, which has become solid wood. I’ll spare us all the obvious jokes. The savior has arrived in Storybrooke. Speaking

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This week we begin back in the days of yore, back when the customs and fashions were down right medieval. That’s right, we open this episode in 1983. We see a father and son camping. The boy, Owen, seems to be a Star Wars nut and he and his father, Kurt, are bonding over a key chain that used to belong to Owen’s grandfather. They are adorable together, so ten dollars says one or both of them will be crying by the close of the hour. Their happy camping trip is interrupted by an electrical storm that begins to bluster

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As has become customary, we open on a bucolic fairytale scene that will soon be juxtaposed with the emotional turmoil of both the audience and the characters. A young woman attempts to make a large flour delivery by herself in the court of the royals. One girl of the court decides it’s hilarious to fuss with the hoi polloi and trips the miller’s daughter, causing her to take a header into her shipment of flour. When commanded to apologize to the young Princess Eva (more than likely Snow’s mother), the miller’s daughter fiercely refuses. She is finally commanded to kneel

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We open on Queen Eva, Snow White’s mother, who is a lovely, diplomatic, kind, and wise ruler. Naturally bad things are going to happen to her this episode. We see Mrs. Patmore (don’t lie you won’t remember her OUaT name either) trying on a tiara in the mirror when she is promptly interrupted by Snow and her mother. In contrast to Eva, young Snow has presented herself in the flashback as quite the little… brat, though there are several other words that are applicable to her attitude. . We find that it is Snow’s birthday and a celebration is being

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We open this week in a quaint woodland cottage. Rumpelstiltskin comes bounding through the door, jovial and without his signature limp. He embraces his wife Milah while telling her about getting drafted for the Ogre Wars. He sounds painfully excited and even does a bit of a dance at the opportunity to make up for some cowardly indiscretions his father perpetrated in the past. I grab my TV guide and check to make sure I’m watching the right show because everyone is happy and I am confused. Looking at the joy in this family makes me want to pop a

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We open this week with Rumple picking up Emma and Henry (surprise Rumple!) for what will probably be the most awkward and sassy road trip of all time. Because who wants to leave the only ten year old in town to hang out where the Mother of All Evil can turn into literally anyone. Speaking of, Snow and Charming have the dwarves on Cora Watch, which sounds like what I do when I view an episode, but they decide they need more help and enlist Hook, fresh out of his fluffy bathrobe and the hospital, to take them to his ship.

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Remember that Sunday when a million things happened on Once Upon a Time that left your head spinning? Yep, so do I. From the reveal of the identity of the Queen of Hearts to the even more startling revelation of just how powerful one Emma Swan is, I was completely immersed in the shocks and surprises of the episode. Of course, it all ended on a huge cliffhanger that left the future of the entire town in the balance. Someone is coming to town, and I do NOT mean Santa Claus. Two parts of the episode hold the greatest importance,

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First of all, my sincerest apologies for the delay in posting this. Sometimes life is good at getting in the way. Especially if life is college. But no matter, on to our beloved show. This week focused entirely on the journey of two worlds to meet somewhere in the middle. However they faced a problem. None other than the mother of all evil; Cora. Barbara Hershey was on her game us usual. You would never think that she could be such a warm person with a wonderful laugh and sparkling personality; especially after playing a character with such long list

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